I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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