Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
