So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
