I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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