Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Two words: blizzard sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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