Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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