i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
