bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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