Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
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You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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