BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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