so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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