I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
