She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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