I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
