you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
