Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
