her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
