I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
