Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
