youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize