"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
