Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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