Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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