All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cannot find my penis.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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