My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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