the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
