So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
