her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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