before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
