SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
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Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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