did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
