not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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