This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize