Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
