Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
