it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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