new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
