I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You need Xanax blowdarts
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
