His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
