So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
