She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
These tits shall not be calmed
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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