dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
