just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
