Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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