the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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