i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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