If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
this hospital has no fireball
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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