You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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