do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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