So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
