Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
