we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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