Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
