I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
