i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
