I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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