And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
