Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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