Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
