Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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