She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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