pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
